🎉🎉It's been ONE YEAR IN TULSA!🎉🎉

I'm really going to try to keep it together but I am just so honored and thankful to God. I truly can not believe that He saw all of my mess and still chose me. I am filled with so much gratitude.

Before I moved to Tulsa, I never shared my testimony. I don't think people understand just how much shame I walked in daily. I moved through this world weighing well over 300 pounds. My physical weight was just a manifestation of what I was hiding spiritually and internally. I was the fun turn up queen "Poppin' Paige" but I was so broken inside. No one could see it- not even me. My relationships were broken. My confidence was broken. My identity was broken. When my romantic relationship and graduate school ended, I got to such a broken place that the only thing I could do was crawl to God in hopes that He could heal me. Giving my life back to Christ after watching Crazy Faith in October of 2019 literally changed my life. I had no idea that fast forward to September 4, 2021 I would have fasted, prayed, heard the voice of God and moved 1,000 miles away from my hometown.

I wish I could write this blog and tell you that Tulsa has been that girllll every day for the past 365 days. I honestly think I've cried more than I ever have in my life. Initially, the transition wasn't as hard as I expected because I was physically seeing God move in my life. After three months of living out my faith, I went back to NC for Christmas. Thinking I was strong enough to fight the temptations (pride), I fell back into sin. I hung out with people I shouldn't have, was forced to defend my faith, drank, smoked and saw people from my romantic past.

When I got home, I was ready to jump back into the Crazy Faith life. God literally STOPPED ME AT THE DOOR! He made me leave my job of 6 years December 31st, cancel my new years vision board party and sent me on a 21 day water fast. (Another story for another time chile) In that time He exposed me to me. He started showing me the children of Israel and how I was just like them in modern times. On the 40th day of this year, he literally asked me "What could this year have looked like if you praised me for the past 40 days instead of complaining?"

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Yall after being broken so long I was sad that God wouldn't leave me broken. I didn't feel worthy enough to be healed. My identity and my financial stability was gone. Almost every single friend I had back home was gone. The pain of not turning up anymore got so hard to bear, Feb 23, 2022 I drank and drank and drank.The next morning a friend called me and needed prayer. I prayed for her and I did it hungover from my own strength not God's. Holy Spirit literally told me I could never do that again. I was begging to be used by Him but He wasn't going to send His daughters to me if I couldn't be in a head space to be used. Its been 189 days since Holy Spirit yoked me up- I haven't had a sip of alcohol, an edible or a blunt. It's been nothing but His strength.

All of this to say, God gave me the intentional limitation of staying in Tulsa. This year alone, I have had to turn down a Queen Naija concert, my birthday trip and VIP tickets to Jazmine Sullivan, a trip to Mexico, Colombia, multiple weddings and one that literally felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I haven't stepped foot back into NC since December. Literally as I am crying writing this- I finally understand why.

I'm not the person I was before I moved here. I don't go to food, or alcohol or sex or money to cope anymore. I take every single thing to God. Even through all of the hard times in Tulsa, God has shown me NOTHING but favor. Tulsa has been my promise land! It has been the Holy ground that God showed Moses and Joshua. Iv'e had to take off my shoes and be vulnerable. I never wake up saying, lets be vulnerable today. God commands me to share my story. Every time I feel the enemy trying to pull me back, God empowers me to tell another layer of my story and to tell it again. Its wild to remember where He brought me from.

As I am writing this, I am finally able to whole heartedly accept Tulsa. I have been running from her literally all year. This entire week God has been speaking to me and having me to remember all that He has done for me in this city. (I've been posting a reel a day over on IG- Go follow meeeee @thepaigepatton and like/share my content) I'll share more in my Tulsa recap vlog but I have grown so much in this city. I have a ministry, I work in ministry, I am losing the spiritual and the physical weight. Tulsa has changed my mindset- I see God in everything. I have partnered with Him for one year and I am truly unrecognizable. All I can say is Thank you God!! I gave you my yes and will never take it back! I am excited for what He will do this next year in Tulsa!! NO eye has seen and NO ear has heard the kind of blessings thats about to fall on me!!

xoxo @ThePaigePatton